A Lesson In Fear
Posted by Catherine Graham on Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Under: Letting Go
I've started going to church this year. Being the beginning of the year, I have only gone twice, as there's only been two services for me to go to. However, this in itself has been quite a feat for me.
You see, when I was a young child, I was sent very mixed messages about church, and religion. While my parents didn't force me to go, I was still given some pretty big misconceptions about the ideas of faith and God, and religion in general.
As I got into my teens, I started searching for a more spiritual point of view, and started to read the Bible. I didn't get much past Genesis, before I decided it was time to give up, but still my spiritual quest drove on. Later in my teens, I started going to a church with my sister. When I found out I was pregnant, the church kicked me out. They didn't need anyone like my kind hanging around their kind, and so again, I turned my back on church, deciding that maybe, just maybe, church, and God, or the Great One just had it in for me.
I started looking at other religions, which opened my mind to many new and great possibilities, that I don't believe I would've learned in the realms of a church. When I moved to a new city, a neighbour told me about her own church. "It's not like the other church's, " she said. "It doesn't preach, or tell you what you can and can not do...they just accept you."
That was three years ago. Somewhere in between then and now, I had decided at one point I would go to the church...but I stopped myself after having a nightmare about going. (Yes, I do mean a wake-you-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-cry-yourself-back-to-sleep dream)
And then, in a big AHA! Moment, I realized that my fears were silly. I was assuming that this church would hate me or put walls up against me, because of my past relationships with churches. I had assumed that God (or whatever you want to call it) had it in for me because of my family's history.....I, the life coach, little miss.positivity herself, was ALLOWING my fears to control me.
I put my foot down. It started last Sunday. I went to church. When I walked in, I was greeted and then HUGGED. I held hands with a stranger next to me as we sang a song about peace. I was accepted for being there...even if I would never come back, they still accepted me.
Am I trying to preach God, or religion or spirituality. No. This isn't about that. This is about assessing your fears.... understanding where they are coming from.
For me it was church. For you it may be a relationship, or a job change, or confronting a hurtful friend. What ever your fear is get to the root of it. For me, my fear was based on false truths that I had been taught through out my life. What are your fears based on?
Wayne Gretzky was once quoted- 100% of the goals you don't take, always go in." So take your shot, and don't let your fears over come you.
Until next time,
xoCatherine
You see, when I was a young child, I was sent very mixed messages about church, and religion. While my parents didn't force me to go, I was still given some pretty big misconceptions about the ideas of faith and God, and religion in general.
As I got into my teens, I started searching for a more spiritual point of view, and started to read the Bible. I didn't get much past Genesis, before I decided it was time to give up, but still my spiritual quest drove on. Later in my teens, I started going to a church with my sister. When I found out I was pregnant, the church kicked me out. They didn't need anyone like my kind hanging around their kind, and so again, I turned my back on church, deciding that maybe, just maybe, church, and God, or the Great One just had it in for me.
I started looking at other religions, which opened my mind to many new and great possibilities, that I don't believe I would've learned in the realms of a church. When I moved to a new city, a neighbour told me about her own church. "It's not like the other church's, " she said. "It doesn't preach, or tell you what you can and can not do...they just accept you."
That was three years ago. Somewhere in between then and now, I had decided at one point I would go to the church...but I stopped myself after having a nightmare about going. (Yes, I do mean a wake-you-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-cry-yourself-back-to-sleep dream)
And then, in a big AHA! Moment, I realized that my fears were silly. I was assuming that this church would hate me or put walls up against me, because of my past relationships with churches. I had assumed that God (or whatever you want to call it) had it in for me because of my family's history.....I, the life coach, little miss.positivity herself, was ALLOWING my fears to control me.
I put my foot down. It started last Sunday. I went to church. When I walked in, I was greeted and then HUGGED. I held hands with a stranger next to me as we sang a song about peace. I was accepted for being there...even if I would never come back, they still accepted me.
Am I trying to preach God, or religion or spirituality. No. This isn't about that. This is about assessing your fears.... understanding where they are coming from.
For me it was church. For you it may be a relationship, or a job change, or confronting a hurtful friend. What ever your fear is get to the root of it. For me, my fear was based on false truths that I had been taught through out my life. What are your fears based on?
Wayne Gretzky was once quoted- 100% of the goals you don't take, always go in." So take your shot, and don't let your fears over come you.
Until next time,
xoCatherine
In : Letting Go
Tags: "fear" "religion"
Catherine Graham has been writing for much of her life, with her first attempt at a children's novel at the age of six. The book, titled, The Little Brown Rabbit Who Wanted Another Friend, was published by her first grade teacher, with copies going into the school class rooms, as well as the school's library. Thus started Catherine's early love for literature and writing.
In grade seven, Catherine had her poem, The Boy, published by Iliad Press. At her grade 8 graduation she received the Writing Award.
Catherine's love for writing came to a halt as she entered high school and became engrossed in all of the happenings around her. When her father passed away at the age of 16, Catherine began writing poetry again to sort through her varied emotions.
On Mother's Day, in 2007, Catherine had an article published in the Kitchener Waterloo Records, a pivotol point in her career. Based on the reviews that she got for her writing, Catherine started writing her first inspirational book, Woman to Woman The Journey To Me (published March 2008)
In October 2008, Catherine had a story published in Chicken Soup for the Soul, Divorce and Recovery.
Catherine completed her second book, Power Surge in September 2009, and an e-book, What My Mother Taught Me in 2010.
Catherine is also a Certified Coach Practitioner, Reiki Practitioner, Hot Stone Masseust, Past Life Regressionist, Relaxation Therapist and Hypnotist. She is a member of Positive Imperative, and a mother of 5.
